Change is difficult. Even those of us that thrive on and enjoy change can find certain situations difficult. Why? Change means there is something different going to happen. People tend to get comfortable in their circumstances, comfortable is, well, comforting. Add in when we stay with the familiar there is little left to chance. The problem? Change is always happening. Whether by our own choice or others, things change.
As much as people do not like it, it is absolutely fantastic that it occurs. After all, if nothing ever changed, we would never grow or discover new things, but most of all, life would get very dull very quickly. Imagine the weather staying precisely the same every day. I know what you are thinking - 70 degrees, no humidity, a slight breeze - perfect. Every day it is like this. How great would it be to plan that outdoor picnic, the graduation party, just plain enjoying the outdoors lying on the grass? Wait a minute... after about six weeks without any rain, there would not be lush green lawns to lay on. The weather must change. Just as we must.
How do we accept changes with less hostility? Acknowledging that change is necessary for the world to continue to move forward could be an excellent first step. Then, especially if the change is causing much distress, writing out all the potentially good things that could come about because of the change might help lessen the blow. Embracing all that is good about the change doesn't mean that there will be no adverse side effects; however, it will allow you to see the silver lining.
Suppose the change is something a friend has already experienced. Asking them how they handled it as they went through it may help you better prepare for what is about to happen. Having supportive friends and family around is always beneficial, whether one is going through changes or not. Life is better with people. Hopefully, the people in your life are good ones. If they are not, you might want to consider a change.
Stay tuned ... I am going to change this particular prate a little later in the week. Keep a weather eye out for it ...
OH LOOK! HERE IT IS ...
Let me repeat; change is difficult. Even what would seem to be an easy change, something we know that would improve our lives, is still challenging. You can look at formulas on "how long it takes to create a habit," however, there are reasons alcoholics carry their sobriety coins and continue to count the days, months, and years of sobriety, it takes work and active participation.
Besides the hardship of habit fighting against your changes, another obstacle may surprise you, the people who care about you. You expect people who are not your friends to "be against you," it may shock you to think that those who love you would be a roadblock to your change, yet they are often the most significant reason we fail. What is worse is they don't see it and most likely are not doing it consciously. Some of the reasons friends and family may sabotage you are; if you make this change, they may be left behind.
Let's say you and a friend meet for dessert once a week, and you have decided to make the change to eat healthier. What is that going to do to your meet up? Maybe you won't want to meet at all, so you are not tempted? Perhaps you will meet, but you won't eat anything leaving your friend to eat "alone"? Or is there a possibility you will meet and become better friends with people who meet your new lifestyle, and your friend will lose you entirely?
The thing is, any of those things could happen, or you might choose a smaller or healthier dessert and continue your meet up with your friend. Your friend may see the changes in you as a positive and come on board to change as well. Getting over that initial shock of a change happening will help with the forward motion of that change, but it is work.
Regroup, relax, learn from the attempt, and try again.
The work at change is never-ending. It seems as though it shouldn't be, as we all know, change is inevitable. The world would become stagnant and boring if nothing ever changed. We can help one another and the world when we learn why people close to us have decided to make a change, support them, and accept that changes, although difficult, are necessary for growth, life, and excitement.
Go ahead and make that change you have thought you would like to do. Know you may not be successful in your first or fifteenth try. Regroup, relax, learn from the attempt, and try again. Maybe with a few changes to your change! It will be worth it, and those naysayers, whether they are family, friends, or strangers, there is nothing more satisfying than proving people wrong and showing them (and yourself) YOU CAN DO IT!
P.S. I believe in you.
As always, Love lots; Smile often